Long Live the Queen, Part I
Will Smith has said on numerous occasions that he is completely devoted to his wife Jada Pinkett-Smith (with whom he has two children—the eldest boy named Jaden after mommy, not daddy). He has also stated, “If Mama’s not happy, nobody’s happy.” This is the truth of the matter. If the Mistress of the house is not happy, rest assured, no one will be happy. What are you doing to make Her life more pleasant and comfortable so that She may in turn have more attention for you?
Now, I want to make Myself clear: submission/service is like devotion to anything else, be it religion, meditation, competitive sports, or art: You do not do it to reap the benefits (i.e., if I meditate on money every day, I will become rich). You do it because it makes you a better person, makes everyone around you better people, and consequently, makes the world a better place to inhabit (I meditate every day to harmonize myself with those around me). If the end result is that you become rich, that’s a bonus.
As a lifestyle and professional Dominant, I have many people who come to Me to “serve Me.” Like celebrities, I must weed through the riffraff to find the authentic ones who truly wish to serve the three dimensional Me, not just the leather-clad catsuit in thigh-high boots. In terms of Female-Led Relationships, if you ensure that the big M is happy, life will be more pleasant overall. Subsequently, you may or may not receive the abundant blessings of the Goddess, (whether that be Her golden nectar, queening, or whatever your desire may be), but you do not do it to receive something in return. If you do, you are being disingenuous, and the relationship will not work. I always tell My submissives that they should not expect anything from Me in return for their service, that the erotic charge should be from serving Me how I wish to be served (e.g., quite simply cleaning the bathroom until it’s spotless). Submissives of this nature are truly gifted, talented, and are a rare species in a world that expects and demands tit for tat (pun intended).
On another note, those who truly relish My company, companionship, sense of humor, fashion savvy, etc…will find themselves in My company more often than those who are waiting for payback. The ones around Me are the ones I want. It is a mutual relationship of desire. I enjoy being the Queen, but not the puppet. By the same token, I do not seek out puppets either, rather mature adults who wish to give their power over to a strong beautiful Woman. In these relationships, we grow; the Queen has room to reign. The adult babies, pets, slaves, and more have room to emerge and develop in safe and welcoming environments that will also correct them for ”bad behavior.” But constant correction can be tiresome. Consider what you are doing to make Her corrections less like work, so you have more room for play.
Here is a tip for making Mistress happy. Instead of sitting around wondering why the Mistress of the house seems a little tense, do something that She would appreciate. Honoring Her by doing what She wants, when and how She wants it, is the way to go. Remember, not all women want flowers and candy. Full body massages, long hot, well-scented baths, weekend getaways, and more will put the Goddess in the mood for more interesting activities like queening, spanking, foot worship, and more.
As a Female Dominant who has been actively practicing for over ten years, I can honestly say that plying Me with red roses, overpriced cheap wine, or anything cheap for that matter (cheaply made, not simply bought…a homemade dinner of my preferred foods, well-designed pieces, or anything with heart and thought is superior to store-bought cheap and chintzy throwaway material goods) does not work. A relaxing bath, good wine, and a full-body massage will most definitely work. Keeping the Mistress of the house happy will make everyone happy.
Next time you are bemoaning the fact that your beloved Queen is not paying you any mind, look at yourself and your actions. Are you doing for Her what She wishes (e.g., taking out the recycling) and not what you desire from Her (e.g., like a boy buying his mother a baseball mitt—puhlease!). I’ve had many a client say to Me that he would do more for his beloved if only, She “wanted it” (Do they ask? Not often), or if She hadn’t gained those 20 lbs post birth (huh?), or if only She understood his kink (have you tried and if so, how?). I could write an essay on any number of these topics given that each of them begs the question of authentic submission and the relinquishing of power to the Woman. Finally, I would have you determine that this is what She wants also. Venus in Furs is a sad story in that Wanda Von Sacher-Masoch had little desire to be put in the position She was in, yet love for Her husband kept Her trying until he tossed Her aside after determining Her no longer worthy.
Submissives, I beseech you to ask yourselves today, have you metaphorically tossed your Maiden to the wayside in seeking out other Female Dominants or are you taking what you learn from Female Dominance and utilizing that to further develop a harmonious relationship with your Beloved? I am no monogamist, but I do find that serving more than one Mistress is a hard path to follow, if this is the path you’ve chosen, I recommend you tread lightly and watch your footing.