Needle in the Haystack: Finding Intimacy in Metropoles and Internetworks

So here we are in the country parlance of looking for that needle in the haystack. You want to find a partner, there are many partners out there ready to find you. But what if your needle looks like so many hard pieces of straw, or random slivers of metal that have fallen off the back of the tractor? What if you are the needle and all you can do is sit and wait, hoping your appreciator will find their way to you, pick you up, prick their veins, and recipricol love will be norn and blossom forever more?
I’ve really been taking a lot of delight in facilitating intimacy in relations lately, even if that means the couple determines they are no longer capable of being together officially. I’ve also been helping clients put themselves out there into the world of real life and internet dating through Kink Coaching. I feel so grateful that I am able to help people discover their sexual needs and desires, then begin to articulate them clearly and with love to their partners.
I’ve also been doing a fair amount of “internet dating” as of late. My profile is full of me and what helps me feel alive in this world. I offer lots of pictures and do not shy away from ‘outing myself” as a sex educator with multiple relationships. I currently have profiles on alt, okcupid, collarme and just posted a new “call” in the Sf personals on fetlife! I have also been exploring craigslist, believe it or not, as a medium of adventure. What’s fascinating to me is that with the exception of okcupid, I have had profiles up for over ten years and without much success. I have found that the medium presents itself like you already know the person before you meet, and then chemistry gets no chance, (he likes Sta Trek! – no thanks!), or wow, she seems so smart, let’s meet, (only to find here smarts are all intact, but there is zero chemistry). For these reasons, I have found it necessary to try to help people, who, at some point in their lives, felt chemistry. I think refinding connection and depth much easier than throwing out the baby with the bathwater ad starting fresh. Unless, of course, it’s time for change, big change, and sometimes it is.
I wish us the best on all of our interpersonal journeys, whether they be, prolific, monolithic, or simply non existent.
Perhaps some good old fashioned intermingling is in order.
I think it may be time to throw a party!

2 replies
  1. Latexo
    Latexo says:

    I’ve been honest and out there, and troll, but get little except women out for every thing I own, not every, or anything that I am. What do I do. Where am I going wrong ? I too am on alt, fetlife, Etc. thinking that I could start with the largest possible obstcle in common; get it out of the way as it were, but all for naught ???

    Reply
    • eveminax
      eveminax says:

      ah, it can be hard sometimes to find the partner who fits your needs…why not try to be upfront about asking her, (your next date), about her expectations and desires?

      Reply

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