Polyamory, Kink, Ecstasy and Relationships!!!!

Fabulous talk with Monika from Sexporations with Monika on the complexities of polyamory, how to relay kinky or taboo desires,  desires, relationship talk  and how “Ecstasy is Necessary” at Barbara Carella’s book signing at Good Vibrations in San Francisco last month! Listen and Let Me Know What You Think! Sexplorations With Monika

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  1. Monika Thomas
    Monika Thomas says:

    One of my listeners commented that you could check in too much. It’s worth it to go to the side of checking in more. Even super-amazing bad ass sex-educator submissives like Mollena Williams report going into sub-space so deep that they forget that its a scene and supposed to be consensual and there’s a safe word.That’s when you can get hurt and re-traumatized. I’ve had a top/boyfriend COMPLETELY forget the safe word. I’m screaming our safeword after we’ve just had a big discussion about it a week before and he’s just laughing now, holding me down, breaking my toy and throwing it away. I’ve heard too many stories of women picking up this guy who thinks he’s a top. She takes him home, he doesn’t get the negotiation or the safeword part… he gags her, ties her, really rapes her, does things she doesn’t like/want, anally rapes her, etc. and then he unties her and is surprised when she screams “get the fuck out” and never calls him again.
    In date rape, there’s a HUGE lack of accountability. Not only are most rapes not reported to the police, most victims can’t even confront their rapists. I didn’t. I couldn’t even say the word rape out loud until I started teaching rape prevention classes at CCSF. Once when I was 21, one of my rapists in a spirituality group with me. We started talking about it, and he told me that I wanted it it because I was a slut. I was 16 and it was the 3rd time I had sex. He was 28. I didn’t want to have sex with him and I said no over and over but he held me down and made me, but he probably still thinks he is not a rapist. When one of my co-workers raped me, I still couldn’t bring myself to say that he raped me to his face but after I heard he had done it to another one of my co-workers I wrote up a pink sparkly contract, all positive statements “I will respect my partners desires” “I will listen what my partners wants” and made him sign it. It’s not time to tell people that they shouldn’t check in too much. Rape is the number one fantasy among women when they can choose the rapist, choose where/when, and forced to do things that they like.

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