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Peg Your Heart Out and Feel it Too!

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Walking into the lobby of Catalystcon West 2014, I wondered what my purpose was being there. Sure, I had a panel wherein we would discuss the complications around private vs public in the sex lives of industry people, but surely there was more. Within a half an hour of being in the lobby, I was introduced to the Injoyus, an incredible harnessless pegging device. As a 20 plus year player of strap on, pegging, harness and dildo play, I had never found an “ultimate solution”.
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Mistress Eve

Some Thoughts on Dominance and Submission

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As a devoted Dominatrix, I think about and practice Dominant/submissive relationships. The conflux of dominance and submission is ambiguous at best: how about control and surrender? Indeed, all relationships involve power exchange, usually implicit or ignored.  D/s relationships represent power exchange with a twist: explicitness. They are intentional in that they acknowledge the intrinsic elements of power dynamics of an established rapport with another.They are service driven. They develop further exploration of said dynamics usually in the form of ritual. Some “D/s” relationships have been “forced” on us through the years, eg…parents, bosses, etc…and some, we actively seek out and/or at some point in our lives wish to analyze and develop. The main reasons I am drawn to D/s as a Dominant is that I am service driven, curious how power dynamics in relationships work, and hold a great desire to see them perform more harmoniously.

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bdsm advice and sexuality education

Agree to Disagree: Forgiveness is Easy, Walking Away is Hard

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Ever felt like you were beating your head against a wall in a romantic or even kink based relationship? Why do you try so hard when all the other person does is shrug everything off? Perhaps it even seems as if they LIKE being yelled at? They often respond to anger more readily than discussion.

New research wants to tell us about “agreeableness” in partners.  If you are agreeable you forgive readily, at least more readily than the non agreeable or unforgiving types. As a person who often responds angrily to transgressions, but always eventually forgives, I find this article both intriguing and frustrating. My habit is, if forgiveness feels good,  do it until it doesn’t feel good or “right” – or until you recognize it just won’t matter. This is all assuming that the you and your partner are discussing said behavioral aspects and feelings around them as you go along. Once it no longer feels good, Stop. I mean it. Stop.
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Commitment, Communcation, Compassion: Some Thoughts on D/s Relationships

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Power is at the root of the human experience. Our attitudes and and beliefs — positive or negative — are all extensions of how we define and use power.
Caroline Myss Read more